Fear.
It's four letters. Just four simple letters of the alphabet. But in all reality, those four letters keep us from accomplishing some of the tasks God has given us to glorify his kingdom. For Core 100, we're reading a book called Connecting Like Jesus. Next to the Bible, then Harry Potter, it may just be one of the best books I have ever read. Although you can probably guess what this book is about just from the title, its worth reading. I pinky swear. Connecting Like Jesus has reshaped my mindset when it comes to relationships with other people. It also has reshaped the way I see myself. I'm only five chapters in, but the only other reading that has ever convicted me was the Bible. This book has shown me that a four letter word can define your life. It most certainly has defined mine.
There's so many things that people are afraid of these days. I was interested in random phobias so I "googled" them. Here's the most interesting one I found: ambulophia. The fear of walking. Another one that was eye-catching was: euphobia. The fear of hearing good news. To some, these fears are outrageous and irrational. To others, we can reason with them. Every single person in this world can agree on one simple thing. We all have a fear of something and we would rather live without that fear. I have two super personal phobias that have been controlling my life lately. The first one is anuptaphobia. The fear of staying single. I have a major fear that I won't get married for one reason or another. I have been dealing with this fear for about two years now. To you, it might be irrational. I'm not making up excuses for this fear, but I do have logic behind this. When we were kids we all played "House" at some point. Didn't your pretend family always have a mommy and daddy? Ever since I was a little girl I've wanted to get married. Marriage is a union made by God for two to become one. My second fear is thanatophobia. Some of you probably already know the definition of that. If you don't, it means the fear of death. When I say I have this phobia, I mean I have the fear the death of a loved one. I think we can all agree that losing people in our life isn't fun. I've had this fear for around a year. I'm sure I'm not alone on this fear.
Fear usually derives from hurt. A few nights ago, I was talking with a boy from my Core group. Something that he said really hit home with me. He told me that my body language shows that I've been hurt multiple times. I was really shocked when he could tell that by just observing my interactions with people. He said it was this deep pain that I try to hide and to the naked eye, you probably couldn't tell that I had it. I was even more shocked that he was right. After he left, I did some examining of myself. I'm afraid of not getting married, I want nothing more than to find that man God has made for me. The quirky stand point of that is that I'm afraid of getting hurt. I try to stray as far away from emotional hurt as much as possible, but I see perfection in marriage. Like I mentioned earlier, it's the union of two becoming one centered around and made by God. I don't like disappointment, because that usually leads to hurt. Then there's that fear of losing a loved one. Been there, done that. Multiple times. That fear usually leads me to having trouble connecting to people. But then there's this new word.
God.
Three letters. The best combination of three letters in the alphabet. The fears that I have, they all get cast upon him. One verse from Connecting Like Jesus that really made me think involves another word that God brings in abundance.
Love.
Four letters. One of God's gifts to us. Something that is so different and so unique coming from our God. His love is unfailing. His love is redeeming. His love is enough to cast any fear out. The verse that really, really convicted me of my fears is 1 John 4:18 - There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out all fear. When coming across this in the book, I broke down into tears. I felt the instant need to repent before God. I hadn't been trusting Him in those areas of my life. I hadn't offered them to Him to be healed. And that's where I'm at now. I'm letting God heal me, once again. I'm letting Him take control. I'm trusting Him. The One that won't fail me. The One that always loves me, despite what I do. The One that weaves everything together for my good. The One worth falling in love with. The One.
Today I challenge you to examine yourself for your fears. Then offer them to God. One way my Core prof. said to think of it, is that each fear you have is a sweater you're wearing. Regardless if you've got only one on or you're wearing so many you can hardly move, each time you tell God a fear of yours, imagine yourself taking off that sweater. You'll feel better once you do. This I can promise you.
With grace,
Emily Rose.
